Apparently, August is the silly season for protests. How do you protest the protests?
As Mitch Hedberg once said, “I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.”
Today in Portsmouth, New Hampshire the President of the United States, or as one advertisement sinisterly put it “Barack Hussein Obama” visited the region to have a town hall meeting about health care reform.
My understanding is that the event itself went okay, and the audience managed to remain civilized, even after the president asked for questions from those who were skeptical about his proposal. Outside, of course, it was a different matter. Police erected rope lines which separated protesters from supporters.
I don’t think it is any secret that I am a supporter. Maybe that disqualifies me from trying to write about this with some measure of reason. I don’t think so, however, and so the Blog To Be Named Later returns with a rebuttal of the signs and comments from today’s event:
#1 – “WE HAVE THE BEST HEALTH CARE SYSTEM IN THE WORLD”
Um, no. I have heard this argument before: "Hey, if our health care system is so bad, how come people from other countries come here for medical treatment?"
Because there is a difference between having the highest quality at the very top, and having overall quality. You wouldn’t say based on the luxury boxes that Fenway Park has the best seats in all of sports. Not when you’re sitting in the grandstand in a seat designed in 1912 designed for a citizen of Lilliput. And to stretch this analogy, what if you’re one of the 50 million people who can’t get in to see the game at all?
The fact is that the World Health Organization ranked the U.S. health care system 37th in the world. If you’re happy with your health care, great. Guess what, under the president’s plan, you get to keep it just the way it is. No, wait, it could be cheaper. Sorry about that.
#2 – “Communism Kills, Freedom Works”
Okay, first of all, the guy holding the sign clearly needs better health care. He’s the best argument for reform I have ever seen. But we’ll take the point straight on. Adding a public option to the health care system is NOT COMMUNISM, IT IS CAPITALISM. It’s called “competition”.
I love how ultra conservatives have these deeply held beliefs that they cling to only until they become inconvenient. Remember devolution? For years Republicans wanted everything decided at the state level. States rights. On all matters. We insist. Wait, not presidential recounts!
#3 – “A Public Health Care Option will drive private insurers out of business”/”A government program will be awful, nobody will want it, and it will just be a big waste of money.”
Okay, fellas. I understand that you’re upset, but you’re going to have to pick an argument here. These are two completely contradictory statements being made by the same group of people. Make up your fucking mind.
#4 “I’ve Changed” – (Obama with Hitler mustache)
Ah, see, now you’ve finally hit on an argument that makes sense! Well done! I happen to be a student of history, and I well remember when Hitler and the Nazis conquered Europe so that they could make sure that everyone had decent health care! Those were the days!
By the way, just as a reference for this guy, Communism is extreme leftism, Fascism is extreme rightism. Obama can’t be both Stalin and Hitler. Again, you guys need to make up your mind which argument you are making.
#5 – “I don’t want the government to choose my doctor”
Oh My God. *slaps palm to forehead*
Please listen to me. Please. Just stop waving your cardboard and stick and listen. Nobody is going to choose your doctor for you. No one is talking about making you change your health care AT ALL IF YOU ARE HAPPY WITH IT. Health care reform is about adding a public option. Let’s break that down. Adding, not subtracting. Option, not mandate. Do you understand that? Or are you just pretending not to?
Here’s another simple analogy for the simple minded. Protesting a public option for health care is very much like going to your favorite restaurant, seeing something new added to the menu, and immediately becoming hysterical because you believe that the hamburger you’ve been ordering for ten years is going to be suddenly taken away by evil chefs that you are sure exist just behind the kitchen door. Calm down. In the meantime, let me replace those sharp things with some plastic utensils.
