The Blog to Be Named Later returns with a possibly futile appeal to reason.
The so called “stimulus bill” has become the whipping boy for every conservative political commentator in this country. The discontent over this measure has trickled down to the average guy, who works harder and earns less, and who doesn’t understand why the government is “pissing his money away.” Americans hear the term “stimulus” and naturally expect some stimulation. It hasn't happened, and people are angry. People are furious. Tea parties are underway.
But is it rational anger? I doubt it. Any time Congress approves a large expenditure, there is always going to be senators and congressmen slipping things into the bill that don’t belong there. I won’t defend that, although some people’s definition of “pork” is either very broad or very misleading.
For instance, this summer two Republican senators, John McCain and Tom Coburn, released a joint report highlighting the most wasteful spending provisions of the stimulus bill. One oft mentioned item is the $54 million that the government gave to the Napa Valley Wine Train. This does not sound like a good use of taxpayer money. The only problem is, the money didn't go to this train and these senators knew it.
Oh, I know, the idea that John McCain would screw up on money matters and do something irrational and reckless is completely out of character. There was $54 million dollars of stimulus money directed to the Napa Valley, but it was appropriated for flood control. It has nothing to do with this wine train, whatever that is, except that apparently the train passes through the area. This is like saying the government wrote me a check for $54 million dollars because I drove on Interstate 95 last week. It sounds outrageous, but it just ain’t so.
Still, there is no doubt that there must be truly wasteful projects slipped into this bill, and that McCain and Coburn have (I hope) an actual point and aren’t completely playing politics with this. And the larger point is inescapable: the stimulus bill isn’t stimulating the economy, right? Surely that’s true, right? Right?
Wrong. The money spent in the stimulus bill has put people back to work and has saved the jobs of millions of people. Is the economy great? Of course not. But think of it this way. Let’s say you fail to take care of yourself. For years, you drink too much, you eat too much, you don’t get any exercise or display any discipline. So you have a major heart attack and you’re rushed to the hospital. At the emergency room, you are revived and stabilized. Then you’re moved to intensive care. Would you try to sit up in bed and claim that the treatment didn’t work? No, of course not. You’re not on your feet again yet, but you’re still alive.
That’s what Obama’s 2009 stimulus bill did. It kept the economy alive. Just like Bush’s Wall Street bailout the previous year. People hated it, but it was medicine. It tasted bad going down, but we needed it. Had it not been enacted, there would have been a catastrophic failure of this economy. You think it’s bad now? Imagine 80% of small businesses in this country out of business because of a lack of available financing. Imagine dozens of Fortune 500 companies out of business. Imagine tens of millions more people out of work and without health insurance. Imagine the overall unemployment rate not at 10%, but at 25%. Imagine a new Great Depression. Yeah, that sounds great. We should have done that. Look, I understand wanting to stick it to the fat cats who caused this situation. But I’m not going to cut my own throat to do it, and I think if people who bitched about the bailout stopped and thought about it, they would come to the same conclusion.
There’s a joke about hurricanes and how they are named. They don’t sound menacing enough, and people fail to take notice. Earl? Sounds like some dumbass coming to town in a pickup truck. Katrina? I knew a German foreign exchange student named Katrina once. She was cute. They need to use names that better convey danger. If you turned on the news, and saw that Hurricane Bad Motherfucker was headed your way, you’d leave town, wouldn’t you?
This is the problem with the stimulus bill. It’s known by the wrong name. It’s not a stimulus bill. It’s a stay afloat bill, chock full of things that we just have to pay for, whether they help the economy flourish or not. Because of political necessity, it was sold as some kind of steroid for the economy that was going to fix everything. And that’s ridiculous. But that’s modern politics. You have to sell things to the American citizen, even legislation, because we have the attention span of a three year old at Chuck E. Cheese. Consequently, we’re all familiar with the stimulus bill, which we hate. And yet, we know nothing about the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, even though it just saved our collective asses. Guess what? They’re the same thing.
So what did Obama and the Democrats “piss money away” on with this legislation? Well, let’s look at the big ticket items:
-$53 billion in aid to local school districts, preventing teacher layoffs and further cutbacks in education. I don’t know, that sounds important. You’d think that the average mom or dad on Facebook who can’t speak two words without mentioning their kids could get on board with this one.
-$105 billion for infrastructure development, including highways and bridges. Hmm. I don’t know. Yes, it’s true that infrastructure is vital to commerce in this country and helps create jobs both in construction and in the development of new industries. And of course, it’s nice to drive on an interstate bridge without plunging 100 feet to your death as happened to those folks in Minnesota a couple of years ago. Still, I don’t know. Commerce, employment, public safety? Sounds kind of frivolous to me.
-$18 billion for water, sewage and environmental cleanup, including $4.6 billion for flood control. Anybody in Louisiana really want to argue about the need for flood control? If you like, we could just figure out the cost of half a million life preservers and give them out if you’d prefer that. That would be cheaper. No? Okay.
-$25 billion to keep the COBRA program alive for people who have involuntarily lost their jobs. My brother worked in the publishing industry for thirty years. In 2008, he was diagnosed with cancer. A few months later, he was laid off. Ask him if funding COBRA is a good idea. Don’t want to argue that one either? Okay then.
I know what you’re thinking. "He's cherry picking different items to make it sound like this wasn’t a huge, wasteful government program. Surely the most expensive items are not this noble."
And you’re right. Sort of. Because I haven’t mentioned the single biggest expenditure of Obama’s 2009 stimulus bill. Conjure up your worst nightmare, conservatives. Is it comprehensive health care? Welfare? A grant to build mosques on every block in America? No, it’s worse! It’s tax cuts!
“Oh no, tax cuts! Aaaaahhhhh!.....Wait, what? Tax cuts? Really? In Obama’s stimulus bill? And that’s the biggest item in the bill? Come on. “
It’s true. $288 billion in tax cuts.
“Oh, I get it. More tax cuts for the fat cats, for Wall Street, and I get to pay for it.”
Nope. There are billions of dollars for corporate tax credits and reductions, but over 80% of the tax cuts are for individuals. Payroll tax credits, child tax credits, college tax credits, homebuyer tax credits, deduction of sales tax from car purchases, and reduction in personal income taxes.
*Silence*
Yeah, I thought so.
